Monday, September 2, 2013

For Better or Worse

   We all know that saying right? The part in the vows where you tell your fiancé that you will love him/her unconditionally for better or worse. No matter what twists and turns life may bring, you will be there, loving them always. For some people, that’s a scary thought, not for me though! I’ve read countless posts in forums about girls and their fiancés telling them they need to lose weight for the wedding, they need to do this and that… Wait, I thought you agreed to marry ME, this is me…

   It breaks my heart to see that, but it happens and every time I see something like that, I am reminded of how lucky I am to have a loving and caring man in my life that loves me for me. I’m not saying we’re perfect, far from it! But in the time we’ve been together, we’ve already experienced our own version of “for worse”.

   Around one year ago, I got ill and thought nothing of it. I was sick all night and all morning and went to work and realized I needed to go home. Thinking it was just a stomach bug, I laid on the couch all weekend and basically ate nothing. A week later when I wasn’t better, I made a doctor’s appointment to get to the bottom of this. Upon being examined, he instantly said “It’s your gallbladder” and sent me for tests. Well, this could get long so let’s shorten it up a bit…

   For months and months, I was sent for countless tests and not getting any better. Mr. C. almost took me to the ER a dozen times but I wouldn’t let him. My doctors were convinced it was my gallbladder, and I showed every sign of it! I had 3 Ultrasounds, 1 HIDA Scan, 2 MRIs, 2 CTs, 1 Colonoscopy, 1 Endoscopy and endless amounts of blood work. Yet nobody could figure it out. I couldn’t eat anything, I was in constant pain and sick every day all day long… And yet, Mr. C was there for all of it. He took off work to be there with me for my Endoscopy, he went out and bought me ginger ale and crackers. He suffered with me. We couldn’t go out to eat, I wasn’t cooking like I used to. I lost 25 lbs and was constantly cranky because I was starving and in pain.

  Mr. C. was my rock, I needed him like I needed air. I was horrible for at least 6 months. Not only was I sick and couldn’t figure out why, I had decided to go back to school and my last 2 semesters were making me just unpleasant. But he was there, through it all, he’d rub by belly when I was in pain and hold me when nothing else seemed to work.

  When I found a new doctor, and he ran some tests on me, he found out that I had Celiac…  This was in March, 8 months after it all began… 8 months of being sick when this test could have found the reason. I didn’t know whether I should rejoice because I actually had a name for what was wrong, or be livid because this should have been caught earlier… I was almost afraid to tell Mr. C that I had been sick for so long and a simple test could have given me a diagnosis….But when I told him, he was elated. Finally, we have a name, we know what’s making me sick and that’s what matters.

   Together, we both spent time learning the foods that I could eat and couldn’t eat. If you are unfamiliar with Celiac, it is a gluten allergy, (Visit http://www.celiac.org If you are not familiar with this disease )   People are learning more about it now than ever because people are aware it’s out there and can be correctly diagnosed. Instead of being angry that I couldn’t eat pizza or fried pickles or enjoy our favorite late night snack of ice cream together, Mr. C started learning about what my new diet would be like. He worried about what restaurants I could eat at instead of worrying about what he wanted to eat. It was the most unselfish thing anyone could do for me.

  We are a couple that loves food, Friday nights has always been our date night and time to go out to eat. Now it had all changed, we were faced with the challenge of finding a place that would be friendly towards my diet. A difficult task, but Mr. C didn’t mind one  bit. In fact, the night we got engaged, I cried about not being able to eat the cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster… and he still wanted to marry me after that!

  For better or worse is different for everyone. Nobody can tell you “I’ve been through worse that doesn’t count” or “Or that isn’t’ part of the deal, leave him.” I know there will probably be another event in our life that is worse, but I’m not afraid of it happening. I am not afraid of my soul mate running out on me at the first sign of trouble. I look forward to those times bringing us even closer. To me, for better or worse doesn't start the second you say "I do" it starts at the beginning. It starts when you make the commitment to be with each other, when you decide you want to get married, when you get engaged, when you fall in love. Loving someone unconditionally and being there for them through thick and thin is part of a partnership, and one of the best parts of having a partner in life.  





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